Things I Dislike

• Polyester Bathmats. What can I say, I hate stepping out of the shower onto a bathmat that's not 100% cotton. Polyester doesn't absorb water so you wind up having to stand on a bathmat in which a puddle of water is rapidly accumulating. That water gets cold and the whole nice feeling of a warm shower goes to waste because your feet are now freezing from the cold, polyester-infested water. I had a polyester bathmat once. Once. It was when I lived in Switzerland when I was 16... one day, I took the polyester bathmat, threw it out of the third-story window, and went bathmatless for the rest of my stay there. (Yes, I did bring it back inside. But I didn't use it.)

• "Rural." What kind of word is that? Say it out loud. Rural. It's just ugly and uncomfortable to pronounce. "Rural" should be banned from the English language.

• John Travolta's Dimple. How did he become so rich and famous with that huge dimple staring everybody in the face all the time? When I see it, I feel like it's screaming at me, "Ha ha, take that! I have beat all the odds and now, you have to stare at me for eternity!" It's like the dimple is trying to make me feel inferior. Ouch.

• Teal and Camel (the colors). Teal. What is it? Blue or green? Green or blue? Is it anything? I think it should be nothing. It's not a natural color. And camel. Does nobody else think of diarrhea when they see the color camel? Is it just me?

• Flaming Liberals in the Media. Yeah, you knew there had to be something political in here somewhere. Well, liberals in general, I can get along with them. Some of my good friends are liberals. However, flaming libs have no place in the media. Whether it's reporters that have a liberal agenda or Hollywood actors, do everybody a favor and keep it to yourself. And if you are one of those people (do they even exist? I'm not even sure) that actually looks to actors and musicians for political advice, well.. yeah. You know what I'm thinking.

• Ice In My Drink. Here I am, rehydrating myself, and I find that there is ice in my drink. First of all, it slows down the hydration process astronomically. Second, ice gives me toothaches when it's banging up against my teeth incessantly. The only ice exception is the slushy kind that you get at pizza places, which I do enjoy quite a bit.

• "Often" Pronounced Like "Offin." There's a "t" in there for a reason, it's because you're supposed to pronounce it. You know what "offin" sounds like? German. And, as we all know, German is ugly... no offense if you're German. I have unhappy memories associated with the language, like Madame Schluppe, one of my many 3rd grade teachers (again, in Switzerland) who used to yell at me and pull my ears in class because I didn't speak French. (Schluppe was Swiss German but spoke French as well.) Yeah, Schluppeface (as we so fondly call her now), that's why I'm in your class: to learn French. (After a couple of weeks of her, my parents uprooted their whole lives to move across town so I could go to a different school.) So, that, combined withg the fact that German just sounds like a flushing toilet full of Schluppe gunk, I don't like German.


I think that pretty much sums it up. It's not very often that you hear a rant from me that's not about politics or hippies, heh... :laughing: