Just Cry

So... About this time of month, I get all contemplative, in a pessimistic sort of way. I'm not a bitchy PMS'er, I'm more of a find the problems of the world and write about them on the internet kind of PMS'er. And usually, I find absolutely no resolve for said problems. So with that said, I found the latest problem and I am here to tell you all about it.

The general problem is that people don't cry enough.

We see tears as weakness. In fact, we see most raw emotions as weakness. We have to contain ourselves at all times, because God forbid you should start weeping in public. What would people think? Honestly, have you ever seen someone crying in public and thought to yourself, what an idiot? No, at least I haven't. My heart goes out to them and I want to sit down next to them and help them sort through their problems. Or at least listen to their problems and maybe have no relevant advice whatsoever. But at least I could share in their sorrow.

I think part of the reason we have so many shallow relationships in our society is that we don't dare to cry. We can't share what's really going on inside. Or maybe we just don't have time to cry because we're always rushing about doing nothing we'll even remember in a year.

I was thinking about it today, and I don't even know about the struggles of a lot of my close friends. Why? Is it because they're afraid to tell me? Is it because I'm afraid to ask? Is it because they don't know how to approach me? Is it because they don't think I'll listen? Is it because they don't think I'll understand? Or is it because they just never have the opportunity? I don't know.

I'm sure I have friends who have been raped, and I don't even know about it. I'm sure I have friends who have had abortions, and I don't even know about it. I'm sure I have friends who have suffered domestic abuse, and I don't even know about it. I'm sure I have friends who are feeling suicidal, and I don't even know about it. I'm sure I have friends who don't know that I love them as much as I do.

Why doesn't my hurting friend just pick up the phone and call me? All they would have to do is say, "I need to talk to you." and I would be there in four seconds. At the same time, why don't I just pick up the phone and call them? I don't know. I guess my answer is the same as your answer, which is the same as everybody else's answer. I don't know where to start, I don't know what so say, I don't know if I'll offend you, I don't know if you'll still be my friend.

I don't know. All I know is that I'm sick of gicky-sweetness. I'm sick of everyone pretending to be happy 100% of the time when that's not even possible. I'm not telling you that the whole world should mope around and complain all the time, I just think that the surface doesn't need to be made of steel. Maybe make it of of saran-wrap or tin foil so you can take it off easily and share the real you.

Of course, I don't even know how to take my own advice. I guess that's why I'm writing this blog, because I don't know much but I do know that you probably don't know a whole lot either. Or maybe you do, in which case I'd appreciate it if you could enlighten me.

I don't know what I'm getting at. It's 4:30 AM and I'm not even tired. I'm all drugged up on cough syrup and Midol, so I'm feeling very comfortable right now. I think I'll go listen to my dog snore. Oh, Henry.