September 11, 2006

Random Acts of Kindness

Random acts of kindness. Random compliments. They’re the best, because they’re completely unexpected and they catch you utterly off guard.

One of those happened this morning, when I was in line at the Safeway in Corvallis buying some groceries for Andrew. It was one of those uber long Safeway lines where everybody’s completely silent, secretly waiting for someone to start a conversation so they can eavesdrop, thus occupying their idle minds as they wait for the slowpoke in front of them to pay for their ginormous cart full of groceries.

Suddenly, the kind-looking, wrinkly-faced old man in front of me turned around and said, “Has anyone told you today how pretty you are?” Naturally, I didn’t know what to say. My face turned some deep shade of red as I looked around desperately for some distraction to take the attention off of me. Everybody’s ears perked and they smiled at the kind gesture, almost as if the little old man had complimented them as well. After a moment of silence, he spoke up again. “Well, then, let me be the first to tell you today that you are very pretty.”And that was it.

The dozen-or-so people who had been within earshot of the man’s comment found themselves with pleasant smiles on their faces, all because this one little man randomly complimented the person standing behind him in line. He made the world around him a little better. It didn’t cost him anything, he didn’t have to go out of his way more than the step-and-a-half it took to turn around and speak to me.

So I drove back to Eugene and when I checked my email at work, there was one message that stood out from all the rest. It was a simple two-liner from my grandparents, who live in Texas. It read quite simply, "Melly... We love you. You are wonderful. You are so neat, so fine, so fun that you drive us crazy. Your devoted fans, Sab and Soft." So little, yet so much.

That’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? You do what you have to do every day – you take out the trash, you go to work, you make the bed, you wash the dishes, but it’s all for nothing if you’re not making something better. If you’re not taking the little seemingly insignificant spot in the world you’ve been given, and making it more bearable. Even if it’s only the smallest thing, somebody will notice and your presence will have made a difference in somebody’s day.

People do nice things for each of us every day; our only duty is to pass it on. That’s what it’s all about. Pass it on.

September 08, 2006

Third Culture Kids

A friend of mine posted this, so I thought I'd post it too. It's about third culture kids, and it's very, very true.

"What is a third culture kid?" you say. Well...

A third culture kid is a person who has spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside their parents' culture. The TCK builds relationships to all the cultures, while not having full ownership in any. Although elements from each culture are assimilated into the third culture kid's life experience, the sense of belonging is in relationship to others of the same background, other TCKs.


You know you're a TCK when:

• "Where are you from?" has more than one reasonable answer.

• You've said that you're from some foreign country, and your audience has asked you which US state said foreign country is in.

• You flew before you could walk.

• You speak two languages, but can’t spell in either. [I don't have this problem, but many TCKs do.]

• You feel odd being in the ethnic majority.

• You have at least three passports.

• You go into culture shock upon returning to your "home" country.

• Your life story uses the phrase "Then we moved to..." three (or four, or five, or twenty...) times.

• You wince when people mispronounce foreign words.

• You don't know whether to write the date as day/month/year, month/day/year, or some variation thereof.

• The best word for something is the word you learned first, regardless of the language.

• You get confused because US money isn't color-coded.

• You think VISA is a document that's stamped in your passport, not a plastic card you carry in your wallet.

• You own personal appliances with 3 types of plugs, know the difference between 110 and 220 volts, 50 and 60 cycle current, and realize that a trasnsformer isn't always enough to make your appliances work.

• You fried a number of appliances during the learning process.

• Half of your phone calls are unintelligible to those around you.

• You believe vehemently that football is played with a round, spotted ball.

• You consider a city 500 miles away "very close."

• You cruise the Internet looking for fonts that can support foreign alphabets.

• You think in the metric system and Celsius.

• You may have learned to think in feet and miles as well, after a few years of
living in the US.

• You're constantly very tempted to haggle with the checkout clerk for a lower price.

• Your minor is a foreign language you already speak. [Major, in my case... hehehe]

• When asked a question in a certain language, you absentmindedly respond in a different one.

• You miss the subtitles when you see the latest movie.

• You've gotten out of school because of monsoons, bomb threats, and/or popular demonstrations... but never a snowstorm.

• You speak with authority on the subject of airline travel.

• You know how to pack.

• You have the undying urge to move to a new country every couple of years.

• The thought of sending your kids to public school scares you, while the thought of letting them fly alone doesn't at all.

• You think that high school reunions are all but impossible.

• You have friends from 29 different countries.

• You sort your friends by continent.

• You constantly use the time zone map in your cell phone.

• You realize what a small world it is, after all.


Maybe you understand me a little bit better now.