Liberals & My Neighbor Rob

Today, as I was driving, I saw two outrageously rediculous liberal bumper stickers.

The first one said, "No Human Being is Illegal." Aww, my heart cries too. However, I have a newsflash for you. If a person doesn't have enough respect for our country to abide by the laws which we have set regarding legal immigration, they, my friend, are illegal. It's as simple as that.

The second, which I have seen multiple times before, said "Peace Through Music!" ...OH MY GOSH NO WAY!!!! Okay hold up guys, did you tell Saddam Hussein about your Peace Through Music plan before we resorted to invading Iraq? Because I'm pretty sure, if he had known about your ingenious option before then, we could have avoided this whole Iraq thing altogether. And he would've stopped torturing and killing his own Iraqi citizens, all because of music. Seriously guys, get off your butts and get the message, I mean the music, to Ossama bin Laden so we don't have to spend another of your precious tax dollars defending world freedom and standing up for what's right, even thoguh it may not be popular.


The ultimate bumper sticker prize, however, has to go to my neighbor, Rob. Rob is a burned-out hippie of sorts, quite a mysterious character, he is. I'm not quite sure what he does for a living but I think he either repairs music boxes or does Bonsai. (Whatever it is that you do to Bonsai... sculpt?) Two completely random choices, I know, but he's sorta that kind of an odd fellow.

Rob is always changing the bumper stickers on his SUV. That's right, hippie Rob drives an SUV. For a long time, he had a some bleeding heart "Love Mother Earth" sticker on there, but as the November elections drew near, he changed it to the ever-popular "Defend America; Defeat Bush." After the elections, he went to SorryEverybody.com and got the snazzy "DEAR WORLD, Sorry. We tried our best. -HALF OF AMERICA." Which, as a side note, is BS because over half of America voted for Bush. Therefore, less than half of America is sorry. Gotta love democracy.

So the other day, I was driving past Rob's house and I was caught completely off guard by his new bumper sticker. You know those yellow ribbon "Support Our Troops" stickers the liberals are always bitching about being on government vehicles? You guessed it, apparently now Rob supports our troops. I was so stunned by this revelation that I actually slammed on my brakes and stared in astonishment with my mouth wide open. Only to notice a few seconds later that he was sitting on his front porch looking right at me. I furrowed my brow at him and gave him a questioning look, then pulled into my driveway and went on my merry way.

So anyway, that's the story of my crazy liberal neighbor, Rob. Silly liberals.